What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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Why was the woman arrested for trying to have sex with a miner? Because he was on the job and her advances were completely unwanted.

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Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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Why don't bats have penises? They do. I tried. Menstruation.

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A Jew, black person, and Mexican jump out of a plane, which one falls first? Who cares they all died

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Roses are red Violets are blue Just smoked some Meth nelnfjknfkjnwkejnkjnwefkjnKJNFKJRNFKWNEFEJNFJNWKEJNWFKEJFN

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Not Suzy" "Why?" "Because she has no arms"

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p

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whats black, white, and red all over? your mum

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What is not a car park? Clash of clans

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Why didn't the teenager go to high school? He was murdered

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A haiku for you Would not provide enough space To say all the nice

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What did the fat man say to the Spaniard? Nothing. The Spaniard was skinny and so the fat man was jealous and shot him in the face.

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what did the home less man get for chrismas? cancer.

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How do you shock a child? Attach a metal pole to them while there is a storm

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What did the white man say to the muslim? Hi

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Your girlfriend.

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What do u call a bunch of white dudes siting on a bench ......the NBA

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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"I have a job perfromance review today!" Earl told his wife. "Good luck, I will make you a special dinner tonight," Melinda, his wife, responded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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