What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the monkey ride a bike? Because he was taken from his natural environment, abused for years and forced to ride a bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?  The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that :  L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the schoolgirl say to some of the people of Anti-Joke.com? You're sick. Stop talking about the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the difference between a bench and a black man? The black man is alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A horse walks into a bar. Realizing the severity of the situation, the bartender heads toward the exit... stumbling over a chair.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was the prison full of black people? Because they were all their for security internships.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How many mathematicians does it take to count?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: what do you call a camel with a garbage bag on its head? A: A ziploc baggie

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A Muslim, a Jew and a Christian are on an airplane talking about religion. The Jew tells the Christian he believes in a single holy entity. The Christian says he believe Christ is the Son of that very same entity. The Muslim says "When can I get out of this room?" because he's been detained at the airport due to religious profiling.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops