What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting constantly tortured for hours non-stop by getting your eyebrows plucked out one by one and getting your teeth pulled out and getting your arms cut open by a razor and getting your nose twisted off and getting your nipples ripped off by a pair of pliers and getting your toenails scraped off by a knife and getting a needle shoved into your eyes and getting a sword stuffed up your arse and getting your penis split in two like a hotdog and getting your balls smashed up by a sledgehammer so the sperm inside goes everywhere. I think that would be worse than dropping a dollar down the drain.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

(Insert short question here) (Insert long semi-irrelevant answer here)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the girl talking to the trashcan? Her entire family was killed in a forest fire. She was the only who made it out but she had several scars and burns. For six years she had no family to talk to. She then gathered an obnoxious amount of cheaply made plastic trashcans and painted her entire family on the trashcan and proceeded to talk to it. For several years now she has been in deep conversation with the trashcan. She then attempted to ask the trashcan a series and intense question in which the trashcan did not respond to. The girl grew very frustrated with the trashcan because it did not answer her question so she angrily threw it off the side of a cliff in the middle of the woods. To answer the question above, as the trashcan was violently falling off the cliff, the girl yelled, "See you next FALL"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is the best way to deal with a broken ankle? Ear Lobes.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was six afraid of 7? Because 7 was a terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two parrots were sitting next to each other. One parrot said "hey" The other parrot replied "hey" therefore making the first parrot say "hey" which made the other parrot say "hey" again making the... this conversation, comprised of just one word lasted a very long time. aproximately 16749 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you get if you pour water over a firework? A wet firework

thumb_up thumb_down +2

roses are red violets are blue im much younger than i look;)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Who gives a shit? Justin Beiber.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you get birds to land in your back yard? With a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

ure mama's so fat

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What does an otter and a pencil sharpener have in common? They both feature in this joke

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no? sense Microwave

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than stubbing your toe? - AIDS. What's worse than AIDS? - Getting AIDS and stubbing your toe.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did hitler do with the vegetarians? Nothing, because he was one.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's black and fast? A treadmill.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

roses are red violets are blue i'm a schizophrenic and so am i

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's blue and fluffy? Pink fluff holding its breath

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet You have pancreatic cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is brown and sticky? A Stick

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the gay kid drop his ice cream Because he got punched in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops