Knock Knock Whos there? John John Who Tic Tic BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM

What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

what's worse than failing a test? having your house burnt down

Why couldn't the pirate watch the violent movie? Because pirates died along time ago

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

SHUT UP JP

What do Sylvia Plath and a cake have in common? Nothing.

How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? The holocaust.

What's the difference between Asians and buckets? I don't use Asians to scoop water out of the lake.

What is holocaust victim's favorite food? Hamburgers.

what do you call a masculine female? a post op transexual

What has 3 eyes, green fur and blue ears? Nothing.

Why did the chicken cross the road. ... It didn't.

A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

Linda: See that rainbow? Isn't it beautiful? Bart: I'm color blind.... Linda: Well...this is awkward...

Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm. Being raped. What's worse than being raped. Being raped twice. What's worse than being raped twice. Biting into your apple and finding a worm then throwing away that apple, retrieving another apple them biting into it and finding another worm then being raped twice. In the same 5 minutes.

What do you call a man sitting at the bar drinking alone? An alcoholic.

Why did the police officer arrest the baseball player? He raped and murdered a thirteen year old girl.

A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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