What did the man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Oh my goodness! Are you alright?!"

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what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

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What grows best during the cold Winter season? The number of deaths among homeless people.

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have AIDS.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

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What did the Dark Knight say to the Policeman? I'm Batman

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure _._._

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Whais red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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Why did the man with no arms fall of his bike? Someone threw a washing machine at him

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Q: What did the Catholic man say in response to the gay man asking what he likes to do? A: golf

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A paper cut is a tree's last revenge.

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You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear turns to the rabbit and says "I have colon cancer."

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What's long, brown, and in the toilet? The chocolate bar I just threw in the toilet.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor

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If I had a penny for every time I said the word "the" I would have AIDS

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If you watch the titanic backwards, its really about a magical ship which saves peoples lives!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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