roses are red, violets are blue. you've got Alzheimer's, it sucks to be you

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Once upon a time, your dog got hit by a car this morning

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Three guys walk into a bar. Soon after another man tries to walk in, but is stopped by the bouncers because the bar was at capacity.

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Whats black and hanging from a tree in my backyard? A tire swing

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What is the difference between a woman and a whale? One has big whiskers and is fat and filthy, the other one lives in the sea and is a mammal

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

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A stoner walks into a bar. A few minutes later he is asked to leave by the bartender because he is disruptive and uncoordinated. The stoner leaves because conflict is not in his nature.

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God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

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A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

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A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

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Why couldn't the teen go to the prom? He was busy working to help his mom recover from breast cancer.

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A girl asks a Croatian bartender for a beer, the bartender replies, 'There is no beer in this bar.'

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What did the muslim say when he boarded the plane? Where is my seat

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because I took a swing at it with a golf club.

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You are so down to earth, and never confuse that with "simple minded".

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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Knock knock It's open, come in

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You wanna know something that doesn't exist? Grandma's.........that haven't given BLOW JOBS!

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Doctor, Doctor. I think I've broke my arm! I'm going to refer you to the fracture clinic.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

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How do u get an A on your test. U lock your teacher in the closet.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're a whore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops