What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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yo mamma's so fat she's fat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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Mommy, why did daddy leave? Because you touch yourself at night sweetie.

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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Do knock-knock jokes apply to homeless people?

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What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

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Your mother smells so bad that if she were alive in 1919 she would most likely be outlawed in the Geneva Convention or at least banished from conventional warfare among nations that adhere to the restrictions imposed by such a document

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

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A man goes to his doctor and says, "Help me, my wife thinks she's a chicken." The doctor recommends a nearby psychiatrist to analyze the wife's mental instability, and inevitably she is housed in an insane asylum. The husband commits suicide.

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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Double-whammy

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

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Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

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Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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