What did the priest say to the young boy? Hi.

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't give in to peer pressure.

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G:nock nock B:come in!

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what did the little boy say to his mom? nothing his mother died in childbirth.

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why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

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What do all homosexuals have in common? Not much.

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How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get him a ladder and help him down.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am white and I like cold food

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How do you make someone laugh? Tell them this joke.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

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What is covered in red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? This website is terrible. Are you servers from 1990? I hope you all get cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one does, too.

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A man used a ruler to measure his foot, it was size 11

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Hey Skrillex! Can you do me a favor and hold this bass for me? Sure thing, no problem. 3 seconds later... Oops! My bad! I just dropped it.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What do you get when you cross a hooker with five shots of tequila? Herpes

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You know what's funny with rape? Nothing. It's horror.

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Ben: do you want to hear a joke. jack: yh go on then, i bet its funny. Ben: Your future.

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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Why was the boy sad? He was harassed by his mum who died in the 1800's and went into a depressive state in which he drove himself to death using a pair of pliers and a rechargeable battery. No, he really just stubbed his toe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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