Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

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What do you call a black person flying an airplane? The pilot.

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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what did the jew get for Christmas? cancer. and aids

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What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Q: A Mexican and a Jew are at a race. Who get hit first? A: None of them because they're from a different religion.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza is an Italian food and a jew is a human that practices the Jewish faith

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Roses are red violets are blue tulips are purple/pink

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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Why was the potatoe hot Cuz I cooked it

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So a woman took her drivers test today Since she passed, and tomorrow is her 16th birthday, tomorrow she will have the legal privlage to get her license.

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Have you seen Andrea Bocelli's new house? No. He hasn't either.

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Why did the little boy with hepititess die? his mther drove him into the river!

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Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

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Why did the boy let the falling brick hit him in the head? He had no legs, so he could not move

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How do you get a one-armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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What happens if you go one louder? Nothing because you can't

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What black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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What happened to the baby in the microwave. I don't know I was too busy masturbating off to it in my clown suit

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The doctor. You have aids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops