What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

A woman is carried out of a bar.

What's another name for asexual reproduction? Parthenogenesis.

A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: A ladie not working in the kitchen A: WTF dude thats just terrible

A narwhall walks into a store and asks the cashier where he keeps the soap products. The cashier does not speak english.

Why was the black kid at school? Because he wanted to receive an education.

What's the difference between an ant and a dinosaur? They are both birds, apart from the ant and the dinosaur

What's black an white and red all over? Two dead babies, one African American and one Caucasian split in half by a chainsaw.

How do you catch a predator? You throw a beartrap at a child.

What did the man say to the cat? Nothing. He doesn't have a cat.

Q: What's worse than ten babies stapled to one tree? A: One baby stapled to ten trees.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I forgot the rest, Don't laugh at me...

NeroChan, I have said nothing to you, that you have not taught me, if nothing else you have indirectly inspired yourself, you will get back on your feet, you just need to take one step at the time, I know how ambitious you are, but you always focused on helping others, hiding, seeing yourself as a sinking ship, trying to help as many as possible before you pass away. We can work trough this together, it is easy to figure out that you are trying to protect others from what you feel that you have become, something that cannot be repaired, something that was never meant to be fixed, but to be used until it had no more to give.

Roses are red, violets are blue, i get tired of this shit let's have some grey goose

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it Biting into a baby and finding a worm in it

Your mum so ugly that she isn't married

Yo momma so fat she saw a yellow bus full of white kids and said, "STOP THAT TWINKIE!!"

A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

A Jew walks into a shower. Gased.

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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