Roses are red violets are green i can't rhyme bridge

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You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

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Theres a girl you like, and a you are playing football with friends. You see the girl about to get hit by the ball, but you catch it. She says "Your a life-saver" and hugs you "You scream touchdown!!!" to impress her, you spike the ball on the ground and it hits her in the face.

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what do u call a joke with no punchline? A joke with no punchline

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A skeleton walks into a bar, asks for a mug of beer and a washcloth.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mom. Your mom who? Its your mom now open the danm door!

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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What did the boy with no legs get? A treadmill.

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If a hen lays an egg in the middle of a roof, which way would it fall? To the east, as there was a brisk wind in that direction.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because I hit her with an axe.

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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How did the drug addict die? He got shot in a drive-by.

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What did the limp dick say to the vagina? Is that rash contagious?

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What is black and white and red all over? I don't know. I was hoping you did.

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I forgot.

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Two men walked into a bar. Only one came out. What happened? One Passed out.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Cindy Cindy who? No it's Cindy Lou Who!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

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How do you make a Child cry? Slaughter his dog and feed it to him convincing him its Chili

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops