Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the frog order at McDonalds? Nothing, it's a frog.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

my wifes star sign is cancer, kinda ironic how she died really..... she got eaten by a giant crab.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you make a baby not cry? Do not throw a brick at it. ANTI-JOKE

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A Jewish man walks by a penny.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A live one underneath it. What's worse than that? It has to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It goes back for seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Bob: Whats the difference between a fish and a microwave? Steve: I don't know Bob: Daaaamn your dumb!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

knock knock who's there bang bang bang bang who where da cash at

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

An African American walks into a bar. The bar tender is a racist, so he asks the African American gentleman to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the crazy person allowed to leave the asylum? The ombusman's report will be on your desk this morning minister.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Thankgiving Jimmy: I'm thankful for my family Thomas: I'm thankful for shelter Jake: I'm thankful for running over babies

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a burger made from children with Aspbergers? Cannibalism

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you kill a pirate? Throw him of a bridge

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you drown a blonde. Put a scratch 'n' sniff at the bottom of a pool.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why couldn't the Jeffersons adopt a black baby? Their fireplace was empty.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock The boy doesn't answer because it's dangerous to open your door to strangers while home alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? One if part of the four main food groups, and one is not.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the little girl have grass stains on her white dress? Because she was dragged into the forest and raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Chuck Norris will eventually die because he is a human being, just like all of us. His movies weren't very good either.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops