Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What happenswhen a geman shepard jumps into a lake? it gets wet

thumb_up thumb_down +16

There's a god, just kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's black when its clean and white when its dirty? A black guy that rolls in flour.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's long and blackand goes all night? night time

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What does a salmon and a falcon have in common They both live underwater except for the falcon.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What did Albert Einstein say to Adolf Hitler? A: They never talked. And if Albert Einstein did say something to Adolf Hitler, he would have died first.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's big and green and would probably kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Edward Smith had started telling a long rambling joke when William McMaster Murdoch cut him off with "I don't like where this is headed".

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many blondes does it take to walk into a bar? One I guess. I don't know if I understand the question.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you get when you rub 2 redheads together? Fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? when people don't understand the concept of anti-jokes and post real jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you get a little kid out of a tree Throw a jar of foreskin at him

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q-how many dead babies does it take to paint your geradge door? A-one if you throw it hard enough

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between a dead baby and my girlfriend? My girlfriend is alive and 19 years older.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops