Yo momma's so ugly that she could not find another partner after the tragic death of your father

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Whats wrong Nero? What happened? Please pick up the phone, I am trying to call you, but it just goes from dialing to changing tunes, please do not be upset with me, what did I do wrong? I thought we had an understanding, please just pick up the phone, if you already have my number and all you got nothing to lose...

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What happens when you wake a sleepwalker? Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking. Such injuries are common among sleepwalkers.

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Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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OMG YOU BOUGHT ME FLOWERS THANK YOU

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why do women rip you off? Because they like money

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Coach walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, i can't serve you. You aren't wearing pants. Coach says "put it on my bill."

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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-Knock knock -Use the doorbell -Oh... ding dong -Who is it? -Me -Oh -Yeah -Cool -Come in -Okay -Take off your shoes -Alright -How are you? -Good -That's good -Yeah -Okay -K -Oh -Bye -See ya

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what is blue and smells like fish? blue fish ;)

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A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

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Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

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what do you call a a miget crossed with a vampire? A miget, vampires are a figment of you're screwed up imagination.

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Chuck Norris counted to infinity; by calculating the sum of a divergent series.

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A horse walks into a barn.. The farmer says "why the long face?",This frightens the horse ultimately leads to the farmer getting kicked in the teeth

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what did the cripple, the cancer guy, the blonde, and the blackguy have in common they all have no reason to live

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Where do the biggest potatoes grow? the ground.

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Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because the light was red and cars had stopped.

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Guy: guess what girl: what Guy: nevermind girl: no what Guy: i love you girl:.. i love myself too..

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It escaped the zoo.

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops