Why couldn't Jimmy go bowling with the rest of his friends? His parents shot him.

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Q: What causes earthquakes? A: Your mother walking.

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Who wants $300? Me too.

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What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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Why did the cop pull over a black guy? The man was breaking the law by going 82 mph in a 70 mph zone, which resulted in a 100 doller fine. Oh and the cop was a racist.

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why did Sarah fall of the swing... she had no arms Knock Knock.... Whos there .... Not Sarah

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What does it mean if you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars? You both have five dollars

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roses are red violets are blue they really are

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How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

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How do you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg? You can't take pictures with wooden legs.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Six Million Jews.

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

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I love you more than other things that are significantly less important to me than you are

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Jesus walks on water Chuck Norris swims through land

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What's the first thing that goes through a persons mind when they get shot in the head. The bullet.

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whats worse than death getting your nuts ripped of by a rabid racoon

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil armstrong Neil armstrong walks on the moon...Michael Jackson molests little boys

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Three men walked into a bar. You'd think one of them would of ducked?

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Why did the black man get drenched by a fire hose because he was on fire

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why can't Larry drive? Because he doesn't have his license, and his temps expired!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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