Shltskc gw? G

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What did the sailor say to the shore? Ur a beach!

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Why did the boy lick the window? He had Down's syndrome

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"Knock-knock." "Come in, sorry that the doorbell is broken."

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Why did the man look in the mirror? To see his reflection.

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What happens when there is a jew next to you and you are standing on a train track? A train hits you both and you both die.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car, Robin.

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Why did John break down in tears? Because he was molested as a child.

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So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Four because snakes have no legs.

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Nerochan, it was really nice chatting with you, I hope we can chat some other time... Please tell me why you are upset with me, just pick up the phone, I mean let me know what I did you wrong.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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How many police officers does it take to secure 3 hooded black men? However many police are on duty.

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A very unfortunate blind fish.

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why did the man pee in public? ... he couldnt hold it in.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technological age we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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Roses are Red Violets are Red My Garden is on Fire.

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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