I always used bra`s so I guess you know, nice I guess. Can you please stop it? I like know I am telling but my mind wont like accept it, and I would just like to shut off the laptop, but I want to keep chatting with you for just a bit more.

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what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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Q: Why did the man have sex with Amanda Seyfried? A: Are you kidding me?

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Four black guys have a picnic. One of them pulls out a bag of KFC. Another pulls out some Kool Aid. The third pulls out a watermelon. The fourth pulls out a box of cookies you racist prick

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What computer sings the best? A Dell? No a Mac, because they are the superior computer.

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Jordan is pregant

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Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

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who else is on here?

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whats worse than getting raped by ben rothlesburger well rape-victims claim that rape has ruined their lives and most of them go into deep depression and need therapy so maybe the only worse thing is getting raped again by kobe ---sticksack

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Refrigerator

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How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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bar man a walks a into...DYSLEXIA IS NOT FUNNY.

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How much wood could a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Neglegence and irresponsibility of a farmer.

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Q: What did the racoon say to the cow? A: Nothing, because neither have the extansive intillect to speak in a manner that the other would understand.

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A black man is pulled over doing 66 in a 65 zone. He asks the officer what the problem is and the officer says his left tail light is out

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What do you call a horse standing alone in an empty field? Tesco's own Beef Lasagne.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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