A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

numbers just make the funniest antijokes

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Wanna know way i don't eat grapes? I hate Grapes.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen and warns him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and otherwise damaging consequences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Person A: Knock Knock Person B: Who's there? Person A: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest. Open the door. Person B: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest, open the door wh-- Suddenly the door is smashed open. Tear gas grenades are rolled in, temporarily blinding Person B. He is then dragged out of his apartment by nine federal agents who proceed to beat him and throw him into the back of an FBI van.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Well, life isn't a physical being so chances are low that it will actually hand you lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If you have read this its to late. You have already read this. Im am very sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between a Toyota Camry and 20 dead babies? I don't have 20 dead babies in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Leave. Now.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, Violets are blue, your parents are dead they never loved you! I found this one on facebook and i just found this site and all yall got some good jokes LOL

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Man walks into Malaysian Airlines "Hey, can I have the next flight to--" "This is our only policy! You pay the fare we pick the where."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why is the white man sad? Because he watched the titanic

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was Billy lat to school? He was being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its not for us to determine its motive, i'm sure it has its reasons

thumb_up thumb_down +3

You go on Nero, he got all red, not sure if he is mad or ashamed or both, but we can all tell that man is jealous. Employee.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock! Who's there? Alexis. Hi, come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Want to hear a popular joke? Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi sit next to each other on a plane they say nothing to each other during the flight and reach their destinations safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what do a blonde and a brunette have in common? They were both red-heads until they walked into great clips.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. It was hanging on a clothes line he didn't see, the fact that he was dyslexic is irellevant.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the transvestite say to the fox? 'scuse me, you've got something on your shoe.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops