A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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What do you call a man having sex with his own mother. - Gross.

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What's worse than finding a worm in an apple? Finding out that your girlfriend is really a drag queen and that that is why you have never had sex. -Harrison

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? A teenage girl was texting and driving, didn't see it, and now it's roadkill.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? To get to Your House. Knock Knock. Who's there? The chicken

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? Their both purple. except for the rabbit

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Q: Why couldn't the black man swim? A: Because ever since he was a child, he has never taken swimming lessons before.

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What colour are blackberries? Purple.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What's red, blue & green all over?

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What has eight wheels and cost more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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Run, Run, As fast as you can, You can't catch me, I'm in a car.

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Q: How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

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Why didn't the man fall off his bicycle? Because He wasn't riding a bicycle!

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Q: why did the plain crash A: the driver is a loaf of bread

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Why do dyslexic people stink at typing? c k j a h s d i u p q h g n z v m n k b e r t y o f This is why...

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Q) What do you call a black president? A) Mr. President

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I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

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why did the man shoot himself in the foot? because he didnt have the safety on and he had no gun handling skills.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops