Stephen Hawking

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How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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How do you get someone to shut up? Shove a fork down their throat and hang them by thier thumbs

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What did Cinderella wear at the ball? Clothes

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What's black and white and red all over? A greyish red object.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red, HOLY SHIT THE GARDEN'S ON FIRE

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Why didn't the boy have any pockets on? He didn't have any pants on

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Q. What do humans and jelly beans have in common ? A. Nothing.

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A little boy went to a sleep over . They watched a episode of pokemon and the flashing lights triggered the boys epilepsy he was driven to hospital and is recovered.

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What's more fucked up that the Bill Cosby rape accusations? Sam and Adele's shower time on a Wednesday night

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Two men walk into a bar. You would think the second man would have seen it. Made by Bobbie Pummel

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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A chicken crossed the road. It was run over before reaching the other side. by fast asleep

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Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? 15 minutes in the oven.

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Knock knock! *no answer* KNOCK KNOCK! *still no answer* the person who was knocking finds a note sticked on the door and it says: i will be away for 2 weeks

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The elephant moonwalked. On the moon.

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What do you call a guy walking into a bar Dave, because that's his name

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whats purple and attacks like a bear? a purple bear

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Which way do 5 gay guys walk? Depends on where they're planning to go.

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Why was the chipmunk watching TV? Because a new Family Guy was on.

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Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur? A: Mega-saur-ass

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Yo' Mommas so poor, She has to ask close family friends and relatives for money so she can feed you.

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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