What did the blind quadriplegic get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Neither have I, nobody knew him.

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What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

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who is really lanky? james cornish

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

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What's the difference between an ant and a dinosaur? They are both birds, apart from the ant and the dinosaur

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Yo mama is so stupid that see should really be concerned with furthering her education in a four-year university

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A Jew walks into a shower. Gased.

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there's a bus full of black people what do you call the white bus driver? coach.

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A man walks into a bar. His crippling alcoholism is tearing his family apart.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Xiao Kaan Xiao kaan who? Fu*k you ugly lauuhhh

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Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Q: What do a hockey coach and a bar stool have in common? A: because seven ATE nine

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Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a straight line? Because he has Parkinson's disease.

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what would Jesus do? Get crucified and die.

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An Irish man, Scots man and a Welsh man walk into a bar. The barman says, "what is this some kind of joke?!" Peter, who lives in Cardiff, returned home, depressed that he is viewed as some sort of clown. It reminded him of when he was a school boy; a giant spot appeared on his nose. The kids just laughed at him. "Don't worry Peter" he said to himself, "It will all be over now... He later hung himself. His family have been informed.

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Q: Whats Red And Has Socks? A: An Apple, I Lied About The Socks..

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How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? None. While they were figuring out who to change the bulb the bulb lit a spark and the house caught fire. Everyone but one died. The black guy couldn't change the bulb because the bulb was lost in the fire.

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What do you get when you cross a turtle and a platypus? Well, I don't think it's genetically possible by nature, but Turtpus is a pretty funny name.

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Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

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Why was the grandomther crying? She just got pepper sprayed.

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Godzilla steps on a bar and orders a Scotch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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