What did one penguin-necrophiliac say to another penguin-necrophiliac? Nothing. Penguins cant talk.

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people can be soooo loud!!!!!!! sooo loud that they wake up helen keller!!!!!!

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An old man walks into a grocery store, but doesn't come out. What happened? A plane crashed into the grocery store, killing everyone inside.

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How do you make a little boy cry? Slap the cookie out of his hand.

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That awkward moment when a loved one dies.

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What did the nerd say to the cheerleader? Wouldn't you like to know? Mind your own business.

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I once saw a fat child eating a sandwich. I wondered what was inside.

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How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

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How many gays does it take to change a lightbulb? It's COMPLETELY circumstantial.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? To run away from the angry chicken who was mad that he was slacking off work.

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a man walks into a bar and a horsefly eats him

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Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

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a gay guy is in a club, from across the room he sees another attractive man with now shirt and he gets an erection.

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* anti-punchline

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A man goes and buys a head of cabbage. The cabbage had a worm in it. When the man saw the worm, he threw out the cabbage and bought a new one the next time he went to the grocery store.

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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What do you call Helena… A Shady palm tree

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Why did the gay man not walk straight? Because I took a jack hammer to his foot

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an elephant is like a guy but its nose is the di**

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Doesn't matter get in the van.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Chet. Chet who? I probably shouldn't be giving you my name, just get in the fucking van...

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Why could'nt Ray Charles read: He was black

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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