What did Edward Cullen say to the hot girl? Since I am a vampire it is impossible for me to get an erection.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. You racist.

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Q-Whos the best server at Sonic? A-Kevin !

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because the pizza man saw how hungry he was and left a pizza for the dog. So when the dog saw the pizza he went to go get the pizza, because he was hungry. In hindsight the moral of the story is: if you ever see a hungry dog on the other side of the road, become a pizza man (if you aren't already) and give him a pizza.

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Four blondes are driving to Disneyland, as they finally got to Florida, they read a sign that said "Disneyland: left" so they turned around and headed home.

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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Q: What do you call a white man with 5 black men? A: A friendly white man. Q: What do you call a white man with a hundred black man? A: A tourist in Kenya.

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What's the worst part about a plane with 500 people in it crashing? It might leave a dent in the ground.

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what did the orange say to the apple? hi

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What do you call a Russian man who is on the moon? A cosmonaut

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What you do if you poo out a slug? Eat it.

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You know what they say about guys with big feet. They have big feet.

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What looks like Micheal Jackson but isn't Micheal Jackson A black guy

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What do you call 100 black men at the bottom of the ocean? A scuba group because during these hot summer months they like to cool off and go scuba diving.

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I <3 Hitler

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcohol and it is killing his family.

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I love you

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knock, knok who's there? ya ya who? yahoo

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What did the kitten say to the ant? Nothing, it was dead. - Driiiftz

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You know you're a redneck when you come from a rural area and behave as such.

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what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have 5 Fingers The Middle One's For You!! :D

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What did the preist say to the other preist? 'hey! we're both preists!'

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Chuck Norris was so good at karate that he held the middle weight world title for 6 years and was named fighter of the year by Black Belt Magazine. He also used his talents to start a successful acting and advertising career.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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