why did Sarah fall of the swing... she had no arms Knock Knock.... Whos there .... Not Sarah

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Who is JP? A really smart kid! HAHA jk

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man drives down the road in a van that says "Candy" He was doing his job in a professional manner

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the college student do during her Spring Break in Mexico? We're not sure, she never came back.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

There were two blondes at an ATM. One was entering her PIN number and the other one says, "Haha! I know your password! It's ****!" The other one replies, "Haha! No, it's 1358."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What causes earthquakes? A: Your mother walking.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why is 6 afraid of 7 ? : Because 7 8 9

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why can't Larry drive? Because he doesn't have his license, and his temps expired!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q) What is black, white, and red all over? A) A zebra that just became the kill of a hungry carnivore

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

thumb_up thumb_down -13

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what is pink and shaped like a banana? A pink banana.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Click here for free sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

An Aussie, a Mexican and an Asian walk into a bra. You read that wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Whats worse than running out of hot water? A: having wyatt friedman poop on your chest, Hit him up on FB

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did the drunk man say to the bar tender? Hello good sir. Fine day today isn't it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A blonde is locked in a super-market. She dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops