I like my women like I like my pancakes: Flipped over, inanimate, motionless, and covered in my syrup.

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wanna hear a clean joke? bob took a bath with bubbles. wanna hear a dirty joke? bubbles was a man :) i heard this somewhere and it made me laugh :)

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What is green and can hurt your eyes? I don't know, but its definitely not a laser pointer.

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Barack Obama.

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Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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A man told another,"You suck." The insulted man finished the sentence,"On juice boxes."

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

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Jack and Jill went up a hill to snort a little coke, Jack felt horny , so did Jill. But unfortunately Jack cant's maintain an erection no matter how turned on he is.

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What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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how how does a black man jump. the same way anyone else does

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Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

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Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

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Q: Where did Sarah go when the bomb exploded? A: Everywhere.

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A man walks into a bar and sees that the pianist is just twelve inches tall. He asks the bartender, ''How come you have a 12-inch pianist?'' The bartender replies, ''We have a genie in the back room. He'll answer all your wishes, but be careful, because he has a little trouble hearing.'' The man walks into the back room and asks the genie for a million bucks. The genie then gives him a million ducks. The man comes out and tells the bartender that the genie misheard his wish. The bartender says, ''Come on, now! Do you really think I asked for a 12-inch pianist?!''

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Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

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A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

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What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

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How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

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ewrg

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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