How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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what did the doctor say to another doctor? we are doctors

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I got drunk last night and woke up in a bed and that's when I saw it. A 400 pound woman was in front of me and I could see the sweat drip down her ass fat and she let out a putrid fart right in my face. It smelt like rotten eggs and cheesy cauliflower. I am horrified.

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Penis.

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Did you hear the one about the black guy that went to college? Me niether

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Lady gaga suposedly has a wener.What does that make her? A man

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why did the old man lose his hair Because he had cancer and needed kimmo therapy

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A captain crashes his boat into a rock. He has the option to save to save his wife or his best friend. He saves neither and drowns.

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What do you call a Mexican with a lawnmower? The guy I'm thinking of is named Pedro. He works hard and takes care of his family.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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why did the chicken stop in the middle of crossing the road? to get to the other side

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Two black guys walk into a bar. One of them was white.

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Q: What do you say when you see your T.V. floating at night? A: That's so frickin awesome

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Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

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who do we all like george goodburn

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josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

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What did the Liver say to the Heart? Nothing, Organs can't talk

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

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What did the flight attendant get for Christmas? A Trebuchet from medieval times dating back to the 12th Century CE.

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Did you hear the one about the broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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So my girlfriend comes back from Jamaica this weekend. There are as many hairs per square inch on your body as a chimpanzee.

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What is really hard around Kim Kardashian? Diamonds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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