A horse and a group of people are the jury in a courtroom. They are expected to vote yay or nay of whether a supposed robber is guilty or not. The jury goes into their room. They come out, and the people vote yay. The room turns to the horse. The horse states his objection very thoughtfully, and then leaves the room.

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How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Draw a smiley face on it.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a murderer.

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So a man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, then drinks it. He then goes home expecting to have dinner with his wife and 2 kids. His wife smells his breath before that and asks him what happens. The men opens to his true and only love and tells her he's having a bad time at work. So they share a hug and talk about it. The man is then renewed, starts pulling up at his job and gets a promotion to general supervisor. He lives happily and watches his kids grow and become professionals. He then dies of a heart attack at the advanced age of 89 while he was watching his favorite TV show.

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What's worse than a dog peeing on your new flower garden? A terrorist attack.

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Your mamas so stupid, her IQ is lower than the average person of her age group.

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A panhandler came up to me today and said he hadn't had a bite in weeks, so I gave him some change.

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Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

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Why did the chicken successfully cross the road? It didn't in the middle of the street it got hit by a car.

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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what's worse than finding 8 dead babies in 1 trash can?....... 1 dead baby in 8 trash cans.

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mexicans fishing

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Wanna know my life in a nutshell? Well you can't. Life is an inanimate object an will therefore not fit inside anything, let alone a nutshell.

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How do you eat an Elephant? Elephant meat is most palatable after roasting in a 450 degree oven for 2 hours. Garnish with carrots and broccoli.

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How much weight can an ant carry up a mole hill? Ice cream has no bones.

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A man with ADD walks into a bar. He then.......Damn Nature, you scary!

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My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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once upon a time there was a cripple little girls who lived in an orfanage were she got raped then beat .

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Q:Why are dinosaurs extinct? A:Well there are two reasons the first being a giant meteor struck the earth killing all the dinosaurs. The other reason you touch yourself at night.

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Why did Santa get stuck up a chimney? Because there was a family of possums living up there. They ripped his face off.

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Why didnt sally throw out her lunch? Her mom had a miscarriage, she was never born.

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What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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why couldn't the girl sit down? she didn't have a butt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops