Why did the beautiful girl get the job over the not so beautiful looking girl She was more qualified

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What's black and white and red all over? A greyish red object.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? Everywhere

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What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

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Knock knock. ... ... *after waiting 30 seconds or so to no answer, the knocker concludes there is no one home and decides to go home to take his son to soccer practice and work on his taxes, and maybe call his mother to see how her foot surgery went* Who's there? Oh.. This is awkward, I forgot why I was here in the first place. I have to go. Bye.

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Q: How do you eat a dead baby? A: One piece at a time.

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What is red and has no legs? Half a baby.

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What do you call a chicken? You say bawk bawk bawk bawk cockadoodledoo

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Q: What's worse than finding out you have genital herpes? A: Finding out your grandmother gave them to you

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Whats worse than losing your entire family in a car accident? Luikimia

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Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

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What's worse than finding The Holocaust in your apple? Most things, because that's impossible.

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I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

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what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

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what did the soup kitchen give people for christmas Meatloaf] -Fluzturnusturbusturcusterdustur

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Why didn't the boy's parents throw him a birthday party? Because his father is in jail for drug possession and his mother is dead.

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Roses are read violets are blue i ate a fetus now you die to

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Why did the Wife cheat on her Husband? Because she was a f***ing BITCH.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? I don't know really

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if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

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Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

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Whats the difference between a Dodo and an Elephant? They're both extinct. Excluding the elephant

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What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops