Knock Knock: I have full blown AIDS

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how do you get a nun pregnant? have unprotected SEX with her, resulting in expulsion from her convent

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Roses are red My balls are blue Get off Unless You want too

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attached to a bomb filled with spoons

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What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

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Why was the boy sad? Because he looked behind him and saw a pedophile penis in his ass.

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I got drunk last night and woke up in a bed and that's when I saw it. A 400 pound woman was in front of me and I could see the sweat drip down her ass fat and she let out a putrid fart right in my face. It smelt like rotten eggs and cheesy cauliflower. I am horrified.

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How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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So, a Turtle, a Giraffe, and a Hippopotamus walk into Stop-N-Shop. They are quickly excorted out and the Zoo is contacted to take the wild animals. The Manager wonders why they were there in the first place.

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Whats worse than Sandy Hook Massacre? 9/11

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What's one plus one? two.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, these two statement are obvious unless you are color blind

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What do you get when you add a cucumber some vinegar some salt and you get..... Macaroni and cheese

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theres this guy that i REALLY like but today he was putting something in my locker, it was gumbie the little green bendy thing but i didnt want it to be in my locker so i slammed my locker, except the only thing was that his pinky was in the way!!!! oh gosh i felt soooooo bad!!!! turns out he went to the hostpital and got stitches!!!!!!! that made it worse on me!!!!!! he said he was finee but i still cant let that go!!!!!

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Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

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1234567890? ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

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Person 1: "Broo my dicks like 19 inches!" Person 2: "Thas not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you."

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

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A woman with big boobs walks into a bar and gets raped

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What is black and hangs from a white supremacists tree? His kids tire swing.

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A horse walks into a bar, but is kicked out because animals are not allowed in that bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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