Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a skitsofrantic, and so am I

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he was applying for a job that's building was located on the other side of the street.

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Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

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One,two,skip a few... five,six,seven,eight...(and so on ad infinitum)

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? The latter has two additional letters added to the beginning.

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A train conducter conducts goes at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph. If he goes under 3 bridges and over 6 hills what did the conductors mother eat for dinner that night. Nothing, after many months of suffering she died from Huntington's disease.

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year old's? I am twenty one and prefer older ladies as I find them more experienced and mature.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

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Whats worse than one dead Baby in ten trash cans Getting raped by kobe

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How Do You Solve A Impossible Math Question? You Dont. cause its impossible.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

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How do you make a 4 year old cry? You tell him all his family died in a horrible plane crash.

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Moose A: What do you call a moose with diapers on its head? Moose B: Me.

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A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

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Why did the really unfunny man buy AntiJoke The Book??? It was a good deal and only $9.99.

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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