Roses are red, vilotes are blue Erics a dick and Chase is too.

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why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

Roses are red violets are blue im a mass murderer and i will kill your family with no hesitation

Your mom is so poor She will soon have to make the difficult decision whether or not to put you up for adoption

A man gets a new job working for his boss. The boss gives him more and more work and less pay. The man finely gets fed up, beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later speculated that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

What's worse than finding out that your dog has worms? Finding out that you have worms.

Ed has spent all his days on the farm. It was the farm of his father and grandfather before him; long have they prospered from the fruits of this land. He has a wife and 3 beautiful children, all of whom live happily on the farm. Ed still manages to keep an active social life, and has lots of interesting friends. His best friend is Moe. As a young man, Ed had spent a few years living in the city for his studies. Moe lives in the city, and he knows Ed from College. One day, Moe came out to the farm to have lunch with his old friend. After lunch, he and Ed took a walk around the farm. They passed by the horses, the chickens, the pigs and finally they came to the cows. Ed looked at Moe, and he saw that he was focused intently on a single cow. "What's the matter, Moe?" he asked. "That," Moe said, "is one skinny cow."

What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney Loves you.

Knock knock whos there? Jake jake who? jake from state farm, and i'd like to tell you about our insurance company

What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

Argon walks into a bar. The bartender yells, "Get the hell out!" Argon doesn't react.

A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

Why is a cookie like a jellyfish? Because it has no bones. (Contributed by my 4-year old boy)

How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

Q: Whats 5+5 A:10

I'm typing this one handed... ... Because I'm an amputee.

what would abraham lincoln do if he were alive today? scream and try to open his coffin.

Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

Why was the black kid in the AP Calculus classroom? Because he was a very driven student, who studied hard so that he could attend a good University and build a good life for himself and his family.

"This is Jesus Christ to Tim Tebow. Please leave me alone. Don't you know that my day off, is Sunday?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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