Meh, I dont want it anymore! You take it!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What was hitlers least favorite pokemon? Hitler didnt have a least favorite pokemon because hitler died long before the idea of pokemon was created.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

My mates dad hasnt had a job in 20 years... its probably why there all homless outside my house.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Why was it bad to be a black jew during the Holocaust? A: You had to sit at the back of the gas chamber

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Knock Knock Whos There? I'p I'p who? HAHAHAHA

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: What's the difference between a grasshopper and pencil? A: Lots

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Do they have a fourth of July in England? Yes, but it is just a sad reminder to them that all the cool people left for America.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

*Science Teacher goes into his class* Teacher:MR MCAAAAAAAN! What's the answer?! MrMccann: I dunno sir. Teacher: WHAT DO YA MEAN YA DUNNO?! HAVE I EVER ASKED YOU A QUESTION YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO?! MrMcann: No Teacher:Then answer this. JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN DO YOU KNOW THE ANSWER?!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

WHY CANT THE ENGLISH MAN FIND HIS.....PANTS? BECAUSE HE NEEDED TO LOOK HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! LOOK HARDER ENGLISHMAN!!!!!!!!LOOK HARDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yell this joke out loud and u will realize that its really funny!!! ^-^

thumb_up thumb_down -22

It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

so a girl asks a guy: "if a tree falls in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" the guy responds: "trees dont grow in the kitchen, so you shouldnt be worried about it."

thumb_up thumb_down -22

q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: How long does it take to dig to China? A: 5 mins. I hire a bunch of mexicans

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, bleeding, mixed race babies.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why is the country in a national deficit? Because the Illuminati want to control all human beings in a socialist new world order.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Chuck Norris once stared in a show called Walker: Texas Ranger.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? -- Because it was dead Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? -- Because it was stapled to the squirrel

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Basically

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops