Why is Texas so hot? The sun

I was going to tell a gay joke. But that would offensive

I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

Knock Knock Who's there? The Gastapo

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the car.

Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? Because they kept saying Bach bach Bach. No. Beethoven was deaf. He couldnt understand what they were saying.

What did John look at when Meghan Fox took off her shirt? her undershirt

An old man walks into a bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

What did the homeless man say to the man who gave him change? “Mmmm I sure do love pocket lint”

What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings

if a dog won't bark, there's no way you can teach it to talk.

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

how to name your chinese kid. throw a spoon dow the stairs

What will your friend do after you kill him? Nothing, he is dead.

Justin Bieber.

Why did the little girlbnot wake up? Because her mother smothered her in her sleep.

What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

Want a fight? You Spelt F**K wrong O.o

Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

Hickory Dickory Dock My dog died today.

What's red and smells like blue paint? Fetus Blood. Due to the low concentration of iron, it gives it an aroma of paint.

A man walks into a bar He's an alcoholic and it's ruining his family

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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