what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

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There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

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A stripper walks into a bar. She works there.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

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Alchohol.

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what did the prostitute say to the black man after they had sexual intercourse? I have aids

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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What do you call 50 jewish, homeless men peeing into a river? Pollution.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being chased by other cannibal chickens.

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PENIS that is all

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To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

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Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

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Jamie Oliver eats a chip

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But who would want to sell us out and why?

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What is pink and gets wet a tounge

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Whats the difference between an aboriginal and a deer? Nothing, infact they are quite similar, they have no house and smell like wild animals and jaywalk.

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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an ethopian thanksgiving

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Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

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Pacient: Doctor Doctor i think im becoming a vegetable... because of my heriditory bone marrow mutation

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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