Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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Why does Santa Claus drink so much hot Cocoa? Because Mrs. Claus got tired of his constant drunkenness and won't allow beer in the house in the house anymore.

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wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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Aodhans da is Mr.Bradly and he dosnt know what coordinates are, 180 anti-clockwise,he has "the key to examination success is revision and homestudy tattooed on his chest, his das herbert the pervert, his mas a taxcollector and on the dole, his da sits on the roof eating biscuits, cleaning the satilite dish, he gets his pubes shaved in gordans chemist, he uses mcdonaldsd wifi, hes a fruit fly and he can stop global warming by shaking his head!!!!!!!!

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what did the prostitute say to the black man after they had sexual intercourse? I have aids

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There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

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What do you say when you accidently punch a wasps nest? Nothing.The correct choice is ton run as fast as you can to avoid getting stung by the entire nest of wasps.

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Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: One is a human while the other is an unidentified flying object.

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Your mom's so fat that she is going to contract heart disease by age 30.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human languages, promptly shits on the floor and leaves...

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A black man walks into a bar holding a weapon. He is asked to leave to leave because weapons are not allowed in the bar.

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Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

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How do you make a penguin fly? You strap it to the roof of a plane.

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What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

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you know what? CHICKEN BUTT. butt of chicken ahahahaa

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Why did Stephen get an A on his test? He held his teacher at gunpoint and forced her to give him a good grade despite the fact he got an F.

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what has two lags and red all over? :a cat in a chinies restrunt...

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Your Mom is so fat she's Fat

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Yo momma so fat she's obese.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza is an Italian food and a jew is a human that practices the Jewish faith

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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a man walks into a library Who the hell reads

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Roses are red violets are blue tulips are purple/pink

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops