A man walks into an exam room for a doctor's appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Refrigerator

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Neglegence and irresponsibility of a farmer.

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who else is on here?

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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Why didn't the Mexican have a job? Because stereotypes made employers unjustly reluctant to hire a hard-working, competent man.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Indiana Jones was riding on it to Pankot Palace

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Why didn't the man go to work on Friday the 13th? Because he was unemployed.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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If you come to Anti-Joke.com to look at the Newest jokes please leave a comment. Thank you!

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What did the black kid say to the white kid My parents are slaves

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Q: Why do Mexicans love rice and beans? A: Because it's fairly easy to grow in places with relatively low rainful and high temperatures like that in which they live in.

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You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

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Cancer.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

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Knock Knock Who's there Doctor Doctor Who

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what is worse than joel an infested asshole

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay boys house. Knock knock! whose there? The chicken!!

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Q: What did the Mexican say to the other Mexican? A: To get to the other side.

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A devout Islamic man walks into a weapons of mass destruction store he is shocked and appalled at how easily such dangerous weapons can be bought.

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What did the black basketball player say to the white basketball player when he lost? Good game.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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