Why was the old lady sad? Her husband was raped by an angry gallon of milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Scenario - Two astronauts are kayaking down the Sahara dessert. Question - How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse? Answer - Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

how do u have sex with a really hot girl who is not interested in you? Rape her in a dark ally

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What is brown and sticky? Maple Syrup.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's black, then white, then dead all over? Michael Jackson

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants. What did the hunter say when he saw the elephants coming wearing a pair of sunglasses? Like wearing a pair of sunglasses as a dhitty disguise would confuse me. I took law at UCLA before becoming a professional game hunter and I've been in this business for almost 10 years. I think I know an elephant with or without sunglasses.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Start by getting your fucking ass off this site and get me the fucking money asap yourself! And your contact information! Fuck your "eye for an eye" piece of shit example, I want redemption! If I am to live with self respect after losing a FUCKING EYEBALL! I demand that you lose EVERYTHING YOU HOLD DEAR! YOU FUCKING QUEER HYPOCRITE! And I am not asking that you take away everything, I will take everything you hold dear away from you myself! Then again, why do that when I can get straight to the source and break your spine, and that is just the first step to making you wish you where dead! That you end up begging me for THE SWEET MERCY OF DEATH! Listen, if you want to talk, lets talk, if you claim to be so fucking powerful get on a goddamn jet and get over here yourself, no goons, no "shadows", no "followers" of "your order" when you present it, and "our order" when YOU FUCK UP! Only then will I "listen to reason", it is only reasonable you come out of your fucking hiding place and face me! I wont fight you, I wont kill you, but you better get your fucking face over here yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

First the lord created light by shouti... ...Then the lord travelled back in time in order to create voice before that. The lord then said "I almost logic and everything failed at the very beginning. he corrected himself and saw it was good,

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What happened when Susie fell off the Ferris Wheel? There was an open seat.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What happened to the white man who beat up the black man? He was arrested for assault and battery. What happened to the black man who beat up the white man? He was also arrested for assault and battery. Their races have no superiority to the law.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why is Bruce Wayne named Batman and Tim Drake named Robin? They wanted to hunt bats and robins whenever someone does something bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a girl with ADD and too much free time? Me

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Are you 9/11 because i would like you to destroy my tower.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When does the Narwhal bacon? The Narwhal bacons at mid-night.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Rubies are red Some diamonds are blue I have candy so get in my car

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did I the granda fall out of her wheel chair?. She fell down the steps

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When life gives you lemons.............. take them free stuff is awesome.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

i wonder who made this website? a human

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

thumb_up thumb_down -5

why did the computer monitor stop working? Becasue it has a date with a slice of cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops