Q: How pregnancy test is performed in Somalia?! A: Shove a piece of bread between the legs of the women and if the bread is bitten when you take it out, she is pregnant!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than a pile of dead babies? The one at the bottom is alive. What's worse than that? He's eating his way out. What's worse than that? He came back for seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Your mums so stupid. She bought an apple for 35p even though the shop across the road sells them for 34p

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the man rob the house? He had a horrible childhood which led him to making these bad choices.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

My son made a tree fort, it burned down.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's sad about black people that drink grape soda and eat fried chicken? The stereotypes are true.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A: What's worse than two dead babies lying on cement? B: The Holocaust? A: Yeah or something like that

thumb_up thumb_down -5

your moms so fat that she had to buy bigger cloths, her husband left her, she became a druggie and died alone.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call two black people on one bike? Unsafe. Regular bicycles are typically not suited for use by two people at once, black or otherwise. Riding on the handlebars is dangerous and can lead to serious injury.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the Mexican cross the border? He wanted to live a better life in pursuit of freedom and a better job.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many Anne Franks does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, cause she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A boy asks his teacher for a eraser....he was given a blue pen. Turns out he was in space.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

thumb_up thumb_down -5

An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I had a quad when I was in high school, she was pretty but it was hard to get her out of the wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two men are walking down the street. They both don't make eye contact and continue walking.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Yo' mama's so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops