What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

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What is the difference between a black person and an elevator? Well, there are many differences such as the fact that an elevator has a series of wiring and mechanics, while a black man, and white men alike, are human beings.

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Jon waits in his driveway for a bit then rides off to a lemonade stand but doesn't stop because the stand is surrounded by police who have arrested the kids at the stand for selling spiked lemonade. He continues past the stand and goes somewhere else (probably Subway).

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What did the fat kid eat for dinner? Salad, he's on a diet.

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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So a guy with a machine gun walks into a bank, makes a deposite and leaves.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Yo mama is so short, she has trouble reaching the top shelf.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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Q: Why do people post the same anti-joke a bajillion times in a row? A: Because they are stupid ass holes with absolutely no life.

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the best thing about an anti-joke is when the punch line doesn't hit you, you feel no pain

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Person 1: Why do Jews have big noses? Person 2: Why? Person 1: No, I was asking you that question. Person 2: ??!!

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Evicted.

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Roses are black violets are black We are all black?! SHIT IM COLOUR BLIND

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in every apple.

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Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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