Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

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So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

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How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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What's white and smells like crap? An albino tird. Just kidding, Justin Biebers music.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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whats white and sticky? a white stick

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A car enters a curve. An ice-cream man pops out from a manhole and throws a pine cone to the car.

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im @ work, LOL.

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What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

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What looks like a horse, but smells and has feathers? A dead horse with a pidgeon in its ass.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? That depends on what his name is.

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long mane?"

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What is red? A rock painted red

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whats worse than a worm in your apple? the Holocaust

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What worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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Why did the astronaut drop his toolbox? Because he ran out of air.

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A: That's a catchy song! B: You know what else is catchy? A: What? :) B: Herpes. Awkward silence.

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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