Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

She likes her sex like she likes her penises. Without a woman.

A couple picks up a hitch-hiker with an ax on the side of the road. The hitch-hiker says "Thank you for the ride."

Where did the two Jews ride when they got married? In the back of the oven.

What's worse than swing a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

Knock knock: Who's there: Woo: Woo Who: I knew you'd be glad to see me.

They say time heals all wounds, yet my leg still had to be amputated.

Can God do anything even if it's impossible? Yes. Can God make a rock so heavy he can't lift it? Yes. Can he lift that rock? Yes. Then he just failed at making a rock so heavy he can't lift it

speak now or forever hold your pee

Why was everyone afraid of Nick Morton? Because he had AIDS

Why is the boy sad? He was getting bullied so he later on talked to a teacher and the bully and him settled their differences. The bullied boy still wishes the bully to go to hell.

Why did the black man drown? Because he didn't wait 30 minutes after eating.

three people walked into a bar and there was a blackman,a jew,a white man and a nazi bartendor which ones did he shoot? The black and the jew and the white man

there are 2 muffins in an oven one says "man its hot in here" the other says "shut up i hate this joke"

There's a priest, doctor, and blonde on a plane. At the end of the flight they all go their separate ways.

A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

You know what would be funny? If the Incredible Hulk asked Spiderman to change his diaper.

Why was Barack Obama wearing a Justin Bieber T-Shirt and slapping you with a pitchfork? Because you didn't listen to me when I told you to stop doing shrooms

5 Italian guys from Long Island

A Jew walks into a bar, he buys it.

Q: what do you call the green and the (stone eater) animal? A:the green and the (stone eater) animal

A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

How much wood could a Woodchuck chuck if a Woodchuck could chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking

What is worse then 10 babes nailed to a tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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