Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your dick taste like shit.

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Knock Knock who's there? Steve Steve who? Steve. I already told you my name.

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your a slut

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So this guy is waiting for a heart transplant. He dies.

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Ed Milliband knows what's best for the UK.

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How do you scare a plumber? Kill his family.

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Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My wife is dying of terminal brain cancer."

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one does, too.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Knock Knock.. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Daves dead. This is Darrell.

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What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

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A man walks into a bar, he obtains an alcoholic beverage from the store neighboring this bar which he bumped into.

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Jax vs Pig Jax: HOHAHOHOHAHOHAHOHA... Etc Pig *spinning head like neck is gonna break off* Shao Kahn: FINISH HIM! Jax: GOT YA! OH YEAH... BEASTIALI*Y, BEAST*ALITY? AGAIN?

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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I always used bra`s so I guess you know, nice I guess. Can you please stop it? I like know I am telling but my mind wont like accept it, and I would just like to shut off the laptop, but I want to keep chatting with you for just a bit more.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and i am too

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What do you get when you cross a man, with Alzheimers disease?

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why did the pancake eat a spanish holiday? Because a plane crashed into his condominium

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G:nock nock B:come in!

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender

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Based on every event that ever happened on Earth, where is a terrorist most likely to plant a bomb? Site B. Many more people play CS:GO than attempt to bomb any real-world location. Site A is a close second.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops