Knock Knock Who's there? Your physician, you're going to die.

What did the jew do to his waiter? He explained how he had provided excellent service and left a very generous tip to applaud his efforts.

Teacher: "Kenny, what is the biggest mammal on land?" Kenny: "A stranded whale."

What happened to the homeless guy when a woman gave him five dollars? He shot the woman because he is mentally retarded.

Q: Whats the best part of a bald pussy? A: After you put the diaper back on you perv!

What's gay and nobody likes? Ryan's combover

An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

Fat? Jesse Z

Salt: "Hi there!" Slug: "AAÀAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!" *dies*

What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

Why did the bartender refuse to let the black man in ? Because the bar was about to close.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually, 6's fear was totally irrational, and thus unexplainable. This sort of fear is generally referred to as a phobia.

I honestly have no idea what is upsetting you, why would I lie about my name? Please don't leave, you do remember me don't you? Can I call you over?

Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

Q:Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A:Sea creatures seeking shelter and food

Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? Reeves Christopher

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? ...Because he was buried in a churchyard.

Why was the sock sad? Impossible. Socks dont have emotions.

Why was the white girl crying? Because she was sad.

What do a black man and a bench have in common? The black man can sit in the bench.

Q: How many black people came KFC on June 31st? A: None because June 31st doesn't exist.

what did the African baby get for his birthday?..... AIDS

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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