who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you blindfold an asian? With a blindfold.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

thumb_up thumb_down +21

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are Red Violets are Red My Garden is on Fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Are you a tree? A: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why is Osama Bin Laden scared of the dark? To be honest, I don't know, and I doubt you do either. Osama Bin Laden has been a fugitive on America's Top Ten Most Wanted list for over 10 years; there is no way that you could possibly know such personal information about him if the United States government can't even locate him and prosecute him for the heinous crimes he committed against the U.S. Don't ever lie to me again.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's the difference between a lamp?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A Muslim, a Jew and a Christian are on an airplane talking about religion. The Jew tells the Christian he believes in a single holy entity. The Christian says he believe Christ is the Son of that very same entity. The Muslim says "When can I get out of this room?" because he's been detained at the airport due to religious profiling.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What would make African women very happy? food and healthcare for their kids, and a proper education.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Violence is never the answer, its the question... The answer is YES!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

whats black, white, and bloody all over? i don't know, but we should stop making jokes and help it already.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops