Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

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What do an eagle and a off-white light bulb have in common? Nothing.

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Roses are red, Violets are rare because of the irreversible damage to our ecosystem in recent years.

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Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

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Knock Knock Who's there May I come in? May I come in who? . . .What's wrong with you can I come in or not?

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Awe the sky is crying.... No it's peeing

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I can still remember the last words my brother said before he kicked the bucket. "Hey you guys,how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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What did the dog say to its owner? well as you can see it is physically impossible for a dog to speak english or any other langueges such as french, spanish or chinese.

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Why? Why not?

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How many blondes does it take to play a game of hide and seek? One ... ;)

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she get up? She had no legs. *Knock knock* Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Two muffins are in the oven. They don't say anything because muffins can't talk. The end.

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Know what's funny? Jokes.

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

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What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

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Why is mario red? His mother beat him as a child.

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Q: Why was it bad to be a black jew during the Holocaust? A: You had to sit at the back of the gas chamber

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm a talking horse and that's what you ask me? On the day I just buried my only son?"

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mike:what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas tom:cancer ahahahaha mike:he got a skateboard jerk nararrator: this skate board will be worth less because he has no legs

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Your family is so fat that when their feet hit the ground, it recorded 9 on the richter scale, because they were launched at the Earth at close to the speed of light, and when you account for relativistic mass effects, the amount of energy that was displaced into the ground was tremendous

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Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

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Why did the Mexican go to Taco Bell? Because he thought it was a real restaurant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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