How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother

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Q. what do you call mexican stoners A. baked beans

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Why Did the man Commit suicide? His body used cellular respiration to make ATP (A form of energy) and his body used it to send electrical signals to his index finger to pull the trigger on his .357 Magnum, thus putting a bullet through the soft tissue in his brain causing his body to shut down Imediately!

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in·fun·dib·u·lum? 1. a funnel-shaped organ or part. 2. a funnel-shaped extension of the hypothalamus connecting the pituitary gland to the base of the brain. 3. a space in the right ventricle at the base of the pulmonary artery.

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How do you make a plumber cry? I'm sorry but our princess is in another castle.

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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What happened when Tim's house caught on fire? The fire department was contacted and they put the fire out.

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Roses are red Violets are victorious 2 in a chamber Mr pistorius

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What did John's girlfriend get him for their 5 year anniversary? Proactive because his acne bothers her.

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer. And a free haircut.

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Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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Why was the woman on video chat? She was videochatting with her husband, he was out of town.

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OMG, I have a really funny alzheimer's joke. Your'e gonna love it! Uhh, I umm kinda forgot what it was now.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun...

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Roses are red Roses are also white and Violets are Violet not blue. Also I'm a realist and your grandmother is going to die soon

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Reclu. Reclu who? Recluse Spider.

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What do you call a man with no arms and half an eye? Larry -Jack Sparrow

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What could be worse than a giant paint bubble? The Holocaust.

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what do you get when you cross an elephant with a lake? swimming trunks.

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TOFFEES HEAD LYING IN THE GRASS

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What did Billy say to Timmy? Timmy! I'm so sorry. *Sniffles* I didn't mean to throw the fork that hard. Rest in peace Timmy...

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I'd love to submit an anti joke, but unfortunatley I don't own a computer.

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A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area. He stops for lunch and heads home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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