Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one says "Boy, it sure is hot in here." The second one says "Holly shit! A talking muffin!" As muffins generally don't talk.

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Why did the kid get beaten up? -he was gay

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Women's rights.

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What do you call your mom after she brings a guy home from a bar? A very caring woman because she doesn't want him driving drunk.

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A Jewish man walkes into grocery store. He buys some groceries, and leaves.

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Knock Knock ...Does anybody know how to use a goddamn door bell these days?

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? You can't. It's physically impossible.

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So I want to write an Anti-Joke, so I go to the write your own tab and see in the security code box: Which one is a country- fried rice or fried chicken. C'mon, it's definitely fried rice.

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You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!

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how many drunk drivers does it take to drive home one and only one, if more than one drunk driver tried to drive home at the same time in the same car they would surely crash and not make it home.

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Knock Knock Who's there? 20 20 Who? 24

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how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

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why couldnt hellen keller drive a car? because she was a woman

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

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What do you call a poor man on the side of the rode asking for money? A poor man on the side of the rode asking for money.

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whoever just posted that stupid yo mama crap answer my comment

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What do you call the branch of Science that separates the organism's race? RACISM

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Well, its Eliza again, sorry to bother you Nero, I always thought you where good looking but I know that when it comes to you its not about the looks, you are far more than meets the eye. Neo-Nero was the guy we met at a certain meeting, the arrogant guy with the big forehead whose arms where shaking remember? I wont reveal more for his sake, he did not mean bad, he was just angry like the rest of us and felt responsible, again like many of us. So when can we meet you? I assume you wont be arriving soon, but Id really apreciate seeing you again, and considering neither I nor my parents (I asked them) have the money to come visit you, id appreciate a loan or something.

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

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Nothing if you heard a loud sound or something that was me dropping the phone, by accident, its busted, I will call you when and if all of your "facts" turn out to be true, Hey, had no idea my doppelganger would be so down to earth by the way, so I am sleepy, what about you?

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Whats black and can run fast? a panther.... racist

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Q: What Did Alakazam Use To Listen Gangnam Style? A: He Used Psybeam.

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How many ants are in the kitchen? None. We killed them all.

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What's the difference between Justin Bieber and R. Kelly? One is an arrogant asshole known for pissing on things, the other is R. Kelly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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