What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

thumb_up thumb_down -15

I got on a bus, and immediately found that sitting on a bus is boring. I will never climb on top of a bus again.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

-You know what will always get people fighting? -Hey, you wanna fight?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Meanwhile in Josh and Dannys apartment....(Danny: I'm finally gonna play amnesia! Josh: You'll die Danny: No I won't Josh: Fine tell me when your done Danny: Ok Josh: Cya 3 Hours later Danny has been stuck in a part. Of the game because he was scared to leave that spot. He builds up the courage to leave there. He sees the monster screams Josh hears runs in the room his character died in the game as Danny has a violent seizure and dies. Josh mourns the death of his friend for years.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a blonde surgeon? Not stereotypical

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the difference between a baby and hot dog? I don't put ketchup on my hot dog when I eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Covert trance, black Ops, and something I kinda made up myself. The first two are basically using suggestions without the victim being aware of it, that is how that famous bank robber that just asks nicely for all the cash and gets it succeeds. The other is tricking the "allmighty" subconcious and again, my own invention people claim its called "this and that", I know, because I coined most of the terms. Anyway, you put people into a deep state of trance, you tell them to take a step forward into the sea, and well, you actually led them down the top of a skyscraper or something fun... "Now... Suck on the lollipop I have between my, okay ill stop"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the little boy have gum on his shoe? Because he stepped on it

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why couldn't Jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There were three elephants in a bathtub. One said, "Pass me the soap." The other one said, "What do you think I am? A Radio???"

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did a black kid kill his teacher? No reason. That what they do

thumb_up thumb_down -15

asking someone to check ur broken wing mirror to fall into that persons arms by accident is not a good idea

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: are you gay? A: maybe

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock Who's there? Max. Max who? Max who starts his greeting with,  "In accordance with Megan's law"  

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what do a carrot and an elephant have in common? theyre both orange except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

yo momma's so dumb she attended a dyslexic test and was proven mildly autistic.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Girl: What's up? Guy: If I told you, would you sit on it?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many jews can you put in a four seat car? two in the front two in the back.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Alister Darling plucks his eyebrows.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

DAVID.B YOU O ES 2 BAR YA TRAMP

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops