Why is Wednesday a bad day? Because at some point, Monday will come around again.

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I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

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What did the rock say to the tree. It didn't say anything, rocks don't talk.

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

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A man walks into a bar. He hasn't been there before, and it's a Friday so it's really crowded, and it's really quite a dive, so he and his girlfriend decide to leave and find somewhere else to eat.

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You see this dick stop being a spick now suck on my wee wee u prick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was jewish and saw a nickel on the other side

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Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was drunk.

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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There's a cat, a dog, a rat and a goat... I don't know how the goat got in there?

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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What's brown and sticky? My ass.

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Knock knock. Who's there. To get to the other side.

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why did the mexican steal the money? because he was financially struggling and needed the money to support his family

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Q:Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because he lost all of his tongue due to the chemicals of cigarettes.

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What comes out of a zit? Purple poop.

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What do you call a 5000 pound gorilla? Obese - gorillas should weigh around 400 pounds.

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The bartender says "We don't serve time travellers here". Two time travellers walk into a bar.

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Who is it?

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You look like Susan Boyle f**ked Snooki and then got hit by a truck.

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Knock knock Who's there The military, your son died last night.

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read me write me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops