Bob Saget

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red OMFG MY LAWN IS ON FIRE !!!?

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your dog pooped on my lawn Now my violets are even more blue

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What do u do to blow off steam? I simply go to the top of the empire states building, poor gasoline in a bag, put a baby in it, light it on fire, and through it off the side. problem?

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How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

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A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What's the most confusing day in the ghetto? Fathers day.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Knock knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

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Why did the man not get his licence He was blind

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what d you call three arabs walking through the desert? dehydrated.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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A Jew buys something that is not on sale

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knock knock Dave's not here.

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What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

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so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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How do you get four gay men on one stool? You get three more stools.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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