I'm so full I could stop eating.

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why did the girl fall off the swing? because someone threw a fridge at her.

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Your mom is soo black , she can go naked to a funeral.

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what is the difference between Rick Perry and Lindsay Lohan? it only takes Lindsay 4 1/2 hours to finish a sentance.

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- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

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What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

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Q-What's the good thing about dating a girl volleyball player? A- She's a Girl

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If one train is heading North at 60 mph, na danother train is heading South at 45 mph, how many waffles are on the roof? The answer is purple, because aliens like coffee.

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

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Q: which of the following is a prime number? A: 17

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a bag of dead babies? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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What do you get when you mix Jabba the Hut with a hen? nothing, genetically they are unable to reproduce due to the disproportionate number of chromosomes and DNA

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What happened to the black guy who got pulled over by the cops? He was told that his left tail light was out

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs, who got cancer for Christmas, get for his Birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long.

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knock knock who's there? Police oh shit

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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Why is it stupid to call your son Bethany? It is commonly a girl's name.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? "Dwane!" I don't know any Dwane. Perhaps you have the wrong address. "Oh. Sorry to have bothered you!"

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hey i just met you and this is crazy i have alzheimers hey i just met you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops