What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

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There are 2 muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "Damn, it's getting hot in here." The other muffing replies "Holy Shit! A Talking Muffin!"

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because seven threatened to murder his family

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

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What did the fat man say when he was offered infinite french fries for life? Yes.

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How many dead hookers can you fit in a trunk? Five

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A man with glasses and a cane walks out if a clothing store and accidentally bumps into a woman, knocking his hat off "Can't you watch where you're going?" the woman asks. The man then slaps her, knocking her to the ground. He picks up his new designer fedora, and drives off in his $90,000 Cadillac. The woman, after dusting herself off, gets the guy's plates, convinces a few witnesses to testify against the man, and informs the authorities of an assault. He was later arrested for assault as well as pimping and soliciting sex. He is found guilty in a court of law and is sentenced to 2-5 years in prison, and is doled a hefty fine.

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How many apple does it take to turn a fridge into a water buffalo? Yellow tactics because of the Minty fragrance

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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Whats the difference between a bench and a black man? A bench is an inanimate object incapable of speech, emotion, or thought process.

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Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

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Rebecca Black's career.

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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

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Well, I feel that I've stepped outside my comfort zone.

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what do call a car full of people on the side of the road? a cool explosion waiting to happen

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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If life gives you lemonade.

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Internet Explorer

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What did the black man do after the white guy told a racist joke? Laugh

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who has moral fiber? a cerial killer

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i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

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This is the same thing you told me once, believe me, it helps holding into it.

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Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Your doorbell is broken.

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What did the zombie say to the woman? I like turtles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops